TEN Excuses for missing Work !!

We've all been there. It's a beautiful day, and you can't bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with some excuse about feeling ill, but you know in your bones that your boss doesn't buy it.

The feeling ill excuse is a short-term solution that won't win you any fans at the office -- someone else will have to pick up the slack, or you'll miss deadlines. And it won't help your career any. Here are 10 excuses -- five smart and five not-so-smart -- to help you save face and your sanity.

Smart Excuses

1)I've Earned It: No one can argue with performance. Come in two or three hours early -- or stay late -- for a week or two. Then negotiate a day off in advance. "Really work when you're there, so you'll be able to feel good about taking time off," says Andrea Nierenberg, president of The Nierenberg Group, a management consulting and personal marketing practice.

2)I'm Playing Golf with a Client: For this one to work, you've got to have a job that requires you to meet and court current and prospective clients. Neil Simpkins, an account executive at Oxford Communications, has used this one successfully. One note of caution: Meet the client; don't just say you did.

3)I Have a Doctor's Appointment: This excuse will get you out of work for a half-day or so. Make the appointment first thing in the morning or late in the day, say around 3 p.m. You can leave the office by 2:30 p.m. and get home (hopefully) by 4 p.m. The shortened day will help you recharge, especially if you schedule it on a Friday afternoon.

4)I Have Cramps: Before you dismiss this one, think about it: Who can argue? "It's such an embarrassing topic that nobody will ever challenge it," says Jennifer Newman, vice president of Lippe Taylor Public Relations. She has used this excuse -- and had it used on her -- successfully. "It's one of those things that men honestly have no clue about, and women can sympathize with." One important point: Don't use this one if you're a man. It'll never work.

5) I'm Working from Home: This is an excellent way to give yourself a break if your company allows it. Although you'll need to do some work, you can generally get away with a shortened day. And you'll eliminate your commuting time.


Not-So-Smart Excuses

1) There's a Death in the Family: Don't ever use this excuse if it's not true. Your employer will lose all trust in you. "I had an employee whose mother died -- twice," says David Wear, a Virginia PR executive. "He also had the misfortune of losing all his grandparents -- 12 of them -- during a two-year period."

2) I'm Too Sleepy: When she was a manager at IBM, Marilynn Mobley heard it all. This one still makes her laugh: The employee apparently took Tylenol 3 with codeine instead of a vitamin, because the bottles looked alike.

3) I Can't Get My Car Out of the Garage: This is another one that Mobley didn't buy. An employee said that a power failure was preventing him from opening his power-operated garage door. "I reminded him that there's a pull chain on it for just such cases," she says.

4) I Can't Find My Polling Place: Mary Dale Walters, a communications specialist at CCH Inc., couldn't believe this one. A former employee needed an entire day to figure out where she had to go to vote in the 1996 presidential election.

5) I Have a Personal Emergency: This one is so vague that it rarely works. It could mean anything from fatigue to an appointment with your hairdresser, and your boss knows it.

Don't lie, no matter which excuse you use. "I'm not a believer in playing hooky, because it always comes back to you," Nierenberg says. "Don't lie to your boss, your supervisor or your clients. You're guaranteed they will be the ones you'll run into while you're walking down the street in your jeans."

Before Marriage .... After Marriage ....! !!

Before Marriage - Agar Tum Na Hote :(
After Marriage - Agar Tum Na Hote :)

Before Marriage - Maine Pyar Kiya :)
After Marriage - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(

Before Marriage - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)
After Marriage - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(

Before Marriage - Dil To Pagal Hai :)
After Marriage - Dil To Pagal Tha :(

Before Marriage - Ek Duje Ke Liye :)
After Marriage - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(

Before Marriage - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)
After Marriage - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(

Before Marriage - Chandramukhi :)
After Marriage - Jwaalamukhi :(

Before Marriage - Kuwara Baap :)
After Marriage - Bechara Baap :(

Before Marriage - Titanic :)
After Marriage - Mortgage :(

Before Marriage - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)
After Marriage - Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(

Before Marriage - Yes Boss :)
After Marriage - Yes Boss :(

Before Marriage - Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)
After Marriage - Chutki Ki Amma :(

Before Marriage - Kabhi Kabhi :)
After Marriage - If you are lucky :(

Before Marriage - Aao Pyar Karen :)
After Marriage - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(

Before Marriage - Hum Apke Hain :)
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(

Indian proves his INTELLECT Again

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why you would bother to borrow "$5,000"?The Indian replies:"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"